Good Shabbos Emails

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Noach
Lech Lecha
Vayishlach
Vayeshev
Miketz
Vayechi

HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE YOU HAVING?

Noach

After G-d commanded Noach (Noah) to leave the ark which protected him and the animals from the waters of the flood, Noach was commanded to repopulate the world. As this week's Torah portion says: "Be fruitful and multiply". It would seem that Noach's job was successful. Some would in fact say that the job has been too successful! And I have done a pretty good job in getting it to be that way (with all the children my wife and I have had). And I have been taught well by my own parents, who have 15! I am often asked about all the children, and sometimes I am asked if we will be having any more. I came across the following article, written by my colleague, Rabbi Zushe Greenberg (Director of Chabad in Solon, Ohio ), which contains a really wonderful message about having (many) children. The article can be found on www.Chabad.org For all those reading this article who have yet to be blessed with children, and for all those who are still able to have them, this article is a must-read. For all those past the ability to have children, please pass this article to others (like your own children) who can have them! HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE YOU HAVING? A few years ago, I took part in a telephone conference call involving 29 people. It was not a business venture, but a personal matter. Telephone lines from Ukraine , China , France , Alaska , Texas , New York and Solon, Ohio , buzzed to Israel to wish my mother a happy 60th birthday. What made this call so special was that it symbolized the profound blessings of a large family. All of the callers were my mother's children and their spouses: seventeen sons and daughters and twelve sons- and daughters-in-law (Kein ayin harah). Everyone had the opportunity to extend words of good wishes. After this twenty-five-minute congratulatory roll call, one of my sisters asked, "What is the secret of your success? How did you manage to not only survive raising such a large family, but also raise such stable, happy, accomplished and self-confident kids like us?" My mother chuckled at the "self-confident" part, and in her unassuming and practical manner insisted that it was no great feat. "You just take one day at a time," she insisted, "and one child at a time, and do what needs to be done..." We all demanded a better explanation. How was it that she didn't worry about finances, living space, and simply providing the basic needs like clothing and food? At this point my father entered the conversation. "You're forgetting the full picture," he said, sharing a synopsis of his life story. When he was twelve years old, he was fleeing from Hitler in Romania and ended up in Communist Russia. There he suffered constant persecution for his religious beliefs while at the same time was denied an exit visa and permission to leave the country. At age nineteen, he finally tried to cross the border to Poland . He was double-crossed as his "guide" delivered him straight to the soviet police. He was sentenced to 25 years hard labor in a Siberian prison camp. When Stalin mercifully died seven years later, my father were set free together with all political prisoners. He never dreamed that he would survive these events, but he did. He also never dreamed that he would find a Jewish woman who shared his dedication to Yiddishkeit and was prepared for the self sacrifice necessary to raise a Torah-observant family in Communist Russia. But he found my mother. In 1967, long before the Iron Curtain fell, my family, myself included, received permission to leave the USSR . We traveled to and settled in Israel . "After all these miracles," my father concluded, "I should worry about a few pieces of bread? If G-d gave me the strength to survive all the hardships, surely He could give me the strength to provide the needs of my family." We all fell silent and thought about his philosophy. Judaism teaches that children are the most cherished Divine blessing known to mankind. Not only are they a blessing, but tradition teaches us that every additional child brings a new flow of blessings to a family. Each additional child does not decrease from the material, financial and spiritual stability of the home; on the contrary, the entire family actually benefits from the Divine blessings that each child brings. The Lubavitcher Rebbe once said that it is unnecessary for us to take over G-d's bookkeeping to figure out how many children He is able to care for. "He who feeds and sustains the whole world" the Rebbe said, "is able to take care of the children, as well as the parents." Now that my wife and I have children of our own, I can truly appreciate the amazing dedication and self-sacrifice of my parents, as well as that of all those who are blessed with large families. I know that it takes an endless supply of laughter, tears and long wakeful nights to raise each child; I also know the nachas, the pride, joy and happiness that each child brings. I truly admire those that willingly set aside the best years of their life and dedicate them to raising a generation of active, giving adults. Each of these future adults will make their own unique contribution to the Jewish people as well as to all of humanity. Each child represents an infinite potential, absolutely beyond prediction. Every child has his or her own unduplicated gift to present to the world, and those who bring him or her into existence are enriching humankind. If all this was true in all generations, how much more so in our time, when our people were so cruelly decimated in the ovens of Auschwitz . I always tell the story of a Jewish woman, expecting her fifth child, who was working in her garden when her neighbor looked over the fence and called out: "What -- another one? How many children are you planning to have?" She had heard this question many times before. She smiled and immediately replied, "Six million!"

THE MIRACLE OF THE YANKEES' GAME 7

Lech Lecha.

As I watched my children diligently reciting chapter after chapter of Tehillim (Psalms) this past Wednesday night, begging and entreating the Great Almighty G-d to help the Yankees beat the stinking Red Sox, and, as from inning to inning the look on their faces was getting more and more desperate, witnessing the disgraceful ineptitude of the Yankees hitters and pitchers, I couldn't help but be prouder than any silly fan of any silly team in any place. You see, I personally gave up on the Yankees (I really did), as Monday night's baseball game 5 was tied by that team from Boston . I actually told someone during the game that the Yankees just lost this series - while they were still ahead 3 games to 1! However, this was my baseball mind thinking. Hey, the Yankees really looked listless and dead. However, when I shared my doomsday prediction with a buddy, he rightfully scolded me: Where's your "Bitachon", where's your trust in the miracle? Why are you so negative? I recently was talking to a man whose life seems to be collapsing beneath him. He is not doing very well in his job - although he actually has a steady one (also a recent miracle). His teenage children are rebelling against him. His wife has asked for a divorce, and has made him move out. And this is only part of the story. I have been involved in this man's life for a long time, and while discussing his collapsing world around him, I knew that I couldn't simply make him see all the many good and positive things in his life. No one wants to know how good things are when they're not. So I shared with him that the Psalmist says: Blessed is the man who trusts in Hashem. This verse does not just mean to believe and have faith. Anyone can believe anything, but believing doesn't necessarily bring a change in a person. The verse specifically employs the term "trust". And there is a major difference between believing and trusting: When, for example, an employer asks an employee to do something for the company, it would be totally unprofessional for the boss to continuously follow his worker around, micro-managing this person's work. Rather, the employer must possess a certain level of TRUST in the worker that he or she will indeed get the job done. Similarly, when we are told to trust in Hashem, it simply means to leave it in His capable hands, and let Him do what He needs to do. As for us? We just need to stop worrying and fretting over what will be, and be trustful that somehow, some way, it will happen, and it will happen for the best. [Of course, it doesn't mean to sit back and do nothing with ourselves, trusting that all will be good. We are still obligated to do all in our power to make things happen. We must, though, quit the destructive tendency to be consumed with worry and woe]. But it's easier said than done. When a person is facing huge problems and issues, it becomes maddeningly difficult to concentrate upon anything, let alone G-d. People tend to lose their faculty of clear though, allowing their troubled minds to concoct scenarios and outcomes that are just figments of their imagination. [It's so ironic that in crises, when our concentration is most needed, we tend to neglect our minds]. As the ninth inning of the fourth game arrived, I was brimming with confidence. The Yankees has demoralized their arch-rivals again, and were within 3 outs of sweeping the series. The best relief pitcher in history of baseball was throwing smoke, and Yankees fans around the world were waiting for the fat lady to sing. But confidence in the easy, natural things is not to be confused with “Bitachon", trust in G-d. Sure, we trust that the sun will come up, the birds will chirp and stores will have food. The real test of how much trust we possess, however, is when things seem so terrible. Disasters happen fast in baseball. Inexplicably, this invincible reliever walked the lead-off batter in the ninth inning; the enemy quickly tied the game, and went on to win in extra innings. Uh oh. A walk is just as good as giving it away. A walk with the Yankees leading in game 5 did them in as well. As quick as the Yankees blew their chances to win the series, I lost the ability to trust, and I knew it was over. I stopped watching and listening to those games. It was too frustrating. "Where's your Bitachon", I was asked again, before game 7. The trouble is, I didn't ask that question of myself; others were doing the asking. I should have known better. After all, I have delivered the message of trust to others so many times. Imagine our father Abraham, who, at the age of 75, received the call from G-d to leave his home town, his birthplace, his family, his friends, his "world". He wasn't even able to ask his friends to visit him, since he wasn't told where he was supposed to be going - as this week's portion describes. But he went anyway, because he trusted G-d. Imagine our father Abraham, whose wife was abducted in Egypt - as the portion relates. One would think that he must have been wondering what was going on. But he never wondered, since he trusted G-d. Imagine our father Abraham, whose nephew was kidnaped by a brutal regime of 4 evil kings. He faced a daunting task, the prospective of fighting those kings to free his nephew - as the portion tells. But he took the challenge and was successful, since he trusted G-d. Imagine our father Abraham who at the age of 99 (and his wife 90) was promised a righteous son to follow in his footsteps, and was told to circumcise himself to forge a physical and eternal bond with G-d, as the portion conveys. But he followed his convictions, and performed all that which was asked of him, since he trusted G-d. And so did my wonderful children. No, G-d did not perform any great miracles in Yankee stadium on this sad, unimaginable night. No, my children's heartfelt prayers were left unanswered, as the unthinkable happened. No, my children did not feel that their words, recited with such earnest fervor, prevented the unfathomable from happening. But, YES, they trusted until the bitter end. YES, they did not stop even in the ninth inning. YES, they even reprimanded me for being so pessimistic and non-trusting Perhaps a miracle did happen on that shameful night. Not one that would make my kids feel any better, but one that made me feel like the greatest winner. And, unlike watching others play a game, this miracle is one that I can do something about: I realized that my children have Bitachon - you better believe it (or trust it). And, hopefully, I do too. At least from here and on. And that change of attitude is a great miracle. Hopefully it can rub off on all of you as well! Oh, one more thing: I trust that the Cardinals will win this thing; let's go Cardinals!

DOES RABBI LEW “DO” THANKSGIVING?

Vayishlach

Earlier this week, I was discussing the American holiday of "Thanksgiving" with a group of teenage students. The question came up: Is Thanksgiving Jewish, and a discussion ensued.

Then the students asked "that" question: Do you "do" Thanksgiving?

I said since I am Jewish, I wanted to answer their question with another question: Do you "do" Sukkos? One said that she did alright, and took off both days (Thursday and Friday) from public school to celebrate the Jewish holiday. I was very impressed. At least one of them had enough respect for the Jewish holiday. I wasn't so impressed when she added that she "just couldn't" manage to take off school for the end of the Sukkos holiday, the holiday of Shmini Atzres and Simchas Torah. "Hey, at least I did something", she said.

And I said - to that one student - yup, you're right, you really did do something, and good for you.

And then I said to my precious students: Look, I love Thanksgiving. It's so wonderful to see an entire country get together with their families, and follow all the traditions ("with all the trimmings"), eat turkey, watch football, and hang out. It's amazing that the busiest travel day in America (and the world) is the Sunday after Thanksgiving. It's really unique and special, and really, really beautiful.

But who says I need to be "observant" of Thanksgiving like an "orthodox" American. I celebrate this holiday by eating with my family, talking about Thanksgiving, and enjoying the day as well. Just not with all the "laws" and "customs". I prefer to celebrate the Jewish holidays fully and properly - like an Orthodox Jew. And at this stage of my life, I prefer to celebrate the American holidays (and I really do celebrate them), but just, let's just say, like a "reform" American...

After all, we have so much to be thankful for. And we really do. But we usually lose sight of the smaller details - for which we really need to be thankful.

I was listening to the radio on Wednesday morning, and someone was talking about "help" to "cope" with the stress of having various family members for thanksgiving.

Gee, what a way to be giving thanks! Some give thanks for being with family, and some, it seems, give thanks when the family leaves.

I will never forget that Thursday of Thanksgiving, when in early evening (you know, when the streets are deserted), I saw a woman jump out of an almost stopped car, sobbing and moving away from the car. The man pulled up and was saying something loudly. I stopped and asked if everything was okay, and she got back into the car.

I gave thanks for, what seemed to me, some solution to the sad picture I had seen, and then I wondered what kind of celebration of thanksgiving was happening between those two.

We often tend to miss the point in Thanksgiving. It's the small stuff as much as the big stuff.

And, at times, the small stuff can be just as important, or even more so, than the big stuff.

Look at our father Jacob, a man blessed with tremendous wealth and possessions, as the Torah describes in this week's portion. And he's on the move with all his wives and children, and with great wealth of material possessions.

And then he remembers that he left behind some small jugs. A few measly pitchers. Something you can buy at K-mart for 99 cents. And it's late at night. And he's in big danger, for his brother is lurking somewhere with an army of 400 men, most definitely ready to attack. And it's very dark.

But Jacob goes back anyway for those small jugs. Sure enough, he's attacked by a man who would keep fighting for the entire night! And he was wounded in battle.

For what?

Imagine when Jacob finally escaped this seemingly totally unnecessary fight and he comes limping towards his family clutching little jugs... Was it really worth risking his life and his family's life for THAT? What was he thinking, and what message was he trying to send to his family, and to us?

If we take a closer look at the fight between Jacob and the angel, we discover one of those hidden details, which sheds much light.

For the entire night, Jacob and the angel were wrestling, that is, with their hands - as you would imagine a wrestling match. With our hands, we can build and we can destroy. The angel realized that Jacob had learned a real valuable lesson while sojourning in the home of Uncle Lavan: You can be in the "real" world and have a "real" job, and yet, still maintain the lifestyle of a holy Jacob. This is real building - as in building a positive and spiritual environment from even the most coarse and rough experience.

This lesson for Jacob was going to be really important for all his descendants as time moved on, when they ended up in Egypt , and all the corrupt and debased Egypts that followed. And the angel - who, our sages teach was the one representing Esav - wanted desperately to have Jacob and this message get lost.

And when he couldn't defeat Jacob by wrestling with the hands, he attacked Jacob's foot. Why the foot? When we build with our hands we can only do so in one location. The feet are the one's that enable us to transport this building potential to all the other locations.

Jacob had gone back for the small, almost neglected pitchers. He was trying to impress the importance of every single thing, even the most smallest and insignificant, must be utilized for something special and spiritual.

And he was ready to sacrifice his life for this critical message!

For sometimes, even the smallest can be significant. Sometimes, we don't have the most clearest picture of what's coming. It could very well be that the small thing is really a giant leap in the journey of spirituality and holiness.

Some may think that having family over is a burden. What a shame.

Some may think that just to give thanks for peace at home is trivial. What a shame.

Some may think that Sukkos is "just" a "minor" holiday. Or Shemini Atzres. Or Simchas Torah. Or Chanukah. Or anything else Jewish. What a shame.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating Thanksgiving. But many lose the focus and message - which is why I prefer a more subdued celebration, in the hope of not losing the true message: We need to give thanks for ALL we have, especially all the many wonderful Jewish opportunities - even if they seem "minor". We need to remember how lucky we are to have what we do. We need to remember to go to a Shul on Friday night to give thanks for Shabbos, in addition to celebrating on Thursday night. We need to remember to utilize every aspect of our lives and every moment we have - to give a great load of thanks to G-d.

Especially for the little things...

BE NICE; IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND OTHERS

VAYESHEV

This past Sunday, I looked at my ringing cell phone, and the name of a friend, whom I hadn't yet met, appeared on the caller ID. The name? "Private".

I was eager to talk to Mr. or Mrs. Private, and I quickly pressed the talk button. "Hello", I said. "Oh, hi", came the response. It turns out that it was actually a person from my Shul, who was wanted to ask a Halachic question.

Before I listened to the question, however, I expressed my bewilderment to that person as to why he decided to be identified as private.

He explained, jokingly, that he was tired of people answering their phones with a, "Hello Mister" so and so, as they are able to identify him so quickly. I guess he appreciates the mystery and suspense of life...

I am still trying to figure out what's the problem with having your name appear on someone else's phone, so the person you're calling has a quicker opportunity to be nice, and, indeed, say: Hello Mister or Misses so-and-so. And this puzzle also pertains to email addresses: It's almost impossible to remember anyone's great, innovative, almost Talmudic-like concoctions of their email addresses!

Whatever happened to just being "plain" Mister or Misses (or Rabbi and Rebbetzin) so-and-so?

One of the more beautiful - but subtle - lessons learned from this week's Torah portion is regarding Yosef's reaction after being wrongly imprisoned, and after previously being sold - by his own brothers - as a slave.

The natural reaction of Yosef should have been utter contempt for anything Egyptian and its government. After all, it was a high-ranking officer of Egypt that had Yosef thrown into jail for nothing.

Yosef, however, did the very opposite. Not only did he show no hard-feelings towards Pharaoh's ministers - in jail together with him - but he actually took a keen interest in their welfare. In fact, he was even sensitive enough to them to notice one morning, how they had a troubled look on their faces as a result of their dreams. Yosef took the effort to go over to them, and ask: Why do your faces look so down today?

From this single act of greeting another person, an act of kindness - towards those who were key members of the corrupt regime that had wrongfully imprisoned him - Yosef was eventually saved from prison, being invited to interpret Pharaoh's dream thanks to the Yosef's interpretation of the butler's dream in prison. And not only was he personally saved from the Egyptian gulag, but this led him to save the entire Egyptian people from starvation!

We learn from this how important it is to be caring about other people, and we also learn that we should never underestimate the power of one single good deed.

For it was Yosef's sensitivity to another's distress, a person whom Yosef had every right to despise, which led to the salvation of the whole country of Egypt.

So, please, allow the other person the ability to greet you. Allow goodness and kindness to be perpetrated everywhere. Even, and maybe especially, the smaller, seemingly insignificant things.

You never know, your act of kindness may be just that catalyst to bring salvation to yourself. Or to your city. Or to your whole country. Or maybe, please may it be, to the whole world!

CHANUKAH – A FESTIVAL?

MIKETZ

I was having a discussion with a friend and colleague the other day. He was beaming, as he said: I'm so happy; it's Chanukah!

I asked him what was the happiness about, and he said: What do you mean? It's a Yom Tov, a Jewish holiday, and it's so exciting for the kids, and all the action with kindling the Menorah, eating of the special foods and feeling the warmth, glow, and light of the Festival of Lights.

It sounded wonderful - and I will be honest: I was jealous.

You see, I find it really hard to honor Chanukah as a full-fledged Yom Tov.

Before I entertain your shocked response, let me explain myself. I observe this holiday with all its laws and customs with my full commitment (especially the food part, of course!).

The issue I have with Chanukah is that it doesn't behave like the other big festivals. All the other one's are opportunities to celebrate the day and miracle with family and friends around a table, in a Sukkah or dancing around the synagogue. They all come equipped with built-in mechanisms to be surrounded by family and friends to give and receive. Especially Purim - which, like Chanukah, is also treated as a "weekday" holiday (driving, phones and electricity may be employed) - we are occupied by giving and sharing with friends and the poor.

And then there's Chanukah. No special table laden with food (besides the occasional party, which is not mandatory); no special location (as in Sukkos); hardly anything in the synagogue, and once the Menorah is lit and a little Dreidel is played, you're back to just being yourself!

What kind of "Yom Tov" is this? How can we "get into it"?

Chanukah is most special because it's not really meant for ourselves and our own inspiration. Chanukah is about illuminating the outside - outside of ourselves, outside of our homes, and yes, even outside of our religion.

The Mitzvah of the Menorah is: To kindle the Menorah on the "doorsteps of the home". While the other "major" festivals have an important element of focus on one's own personality and environment, Chanukah tells us: Today it's about the outside, exclusively.

The days of Chanukah are designed NOT to receive gifts, but to highlight our gift granted by G-d, which we need to GIVE: for the Jewish people to be a shinning example, a "light onto the nations", as we share with the world the beauty of a Mitzvah, the holiness of our religion and the spirituality of being connected to our Father in Heaven.

Just as the Maccabees of old, who refused to tolerate the Greeks - not because they wanted to annihilate us (they didn't), but because they wanted to extinguish the flame of G-dliness and spirituality.

In other words, the festival of Chanukah is about celebrating the essence of being Jewish, for, after all, we are the "chosen people" - chosen for what? To spread light to the other nation and to the rest of the world.

It's no wonder that our sages teach that Chanukah is never going away, even at a time when the light of G-d will be apparent at, and after, the time of our redemption with Moshiach, for the light of holiness will just get stronger and stronger, intensifying to the point that the whole world will be imbued with it.

So when we see a "dark" environment, we must see it as an opportunity to kindle a flame, and a flame after another flame, to be connected with the flames and illumination of all Jews of the past, filling up this world with light.

And not just on Chanukah, but from Chanukah we need to take the strength for this, our most important mission: Let there be light!

MEN AND WOMEN – AGAIN

VAYECHI

Who are more important: Men or women?

I know I may get myself into trouble about this loaded question, and it seems to be a question that continues to be asked. I'm sure, though, you may have asked yourself at some point if the Torah has anything to say about this subject.

During this past week, while on vacation with my family, I got to do things I never get to do while at home, in Atlanta . One of those is to watch television (we don't watch at home, and each time we go away and do watch a little, we confirm how TV is such a colossal waste of time!).

While flipping through the channels one night, we came across a great line recited in a movie. The line was being said by a man to his wife, and it went like this: women have choices; men have responsibilities.

It was quite a funny line, especially in context (an argument about having another child, I believe). While this line can lead in various directions, the underlying factor is how men and women are different from each other, and have very little understanding in how each operate.

Better put: Men are from Mars; women are from Venus.

So, is Mars more important than Venus? Vice versa?

In today's world, most people would deal with this age-old question by saying: Both are as important; just different.

But the Torah, in this week's portion, has a more definitive answer.

Imagine the Chutzpah of Yaakov, the patriarch Jacob, who, upon drawing close to his death, requests from his son, Yosef (the one with the power), to take the great effort to transport his dead body to be buried in the Holy Land, in the holy city of Chevron, where the other patriarchs and matriarchs were buried.

Yaakov quickly adds that when his beloved wife, Rachel - Yosef's mother - died some time ago, he did not bother to transport her body a FEW MILES to the Holy City of Chevron. Rather, she was buried right where she died, in Beth-Lechem. Only his other wife, Leah, is buried in the Machpelah cave, in Chevron.

So let's see: All Yaakov needs to do is take his beloved dead wife a few miles, to be buried in the much-coveted holy burial chamber - which he does not do. But now, on his deathbed, he calls that same wife's son, and asks him to go through the effort of transporting his body HUNDREDS of miles away!

Why, indeed, did Yaakov not bury Rachel in Chevron? Because G-d told him that Rachel sacrificed this holy honor, so she should be a source of comfort the Jewish people, her children, as they were being led out of Israel to exile. Rachel also served as voice of prayer on high, to bring an end to the exile, to which G-d promises through the prophet Jeremiah "Your children will be returned to their borders".

In other words: Yaakov strives to and gets perfection; Rachel forgoes the opportunity, and sacrifices herself for her children.

Intrinsic to the nature of a man is a perpetual striving for self-improvement, never content to just be: the very thought of a missed opportunity or an unrealized potential gives him no rest.

This drive for self-betterment is present in every individual of our species, but it belongs, mainly, to the males.

It is for this reason that men are given all those Mitzvos and "extra work" to perform - such as donning Tefillin, leading services, being called to the Torah, wearing Tzitzis, extra responsibilities in the realm of prayer and Torah study - so they can perfect the world around them ever more, and find so many opportunities to change, to make a difference, to perfect.

Intrinsic to a woman's nature, is the amazing capacity for sacrifice, and the conviction that there is no greater greatness than the abnegation of self to a higher end.

The female does not have the responsibility to perform all the different Mitzvos, for she is focused on a higher and greater plane: focusing on the home, the children, the next generation.

Yes, the woman seems to have a less glamorous role, a perhaps monotonous task, and less time to focus on being a "perfect" human being.

But she is more than perfect; she is responsible for all perfection!

From Jacob, whose life of accomplishment is crowned by a royal procession to the heart of the Holy Land where the founders of Israel are enshrined, we derive our potential for self-perfection.

But from Rachel, the young mother who died in childbirth and who dwells in a lonely wayside grave in order to better bear witness to the suffering of her children, we receive our capacity for commitment and self-transcendence.

Okay, so who is more important?

You tell me: Do you exalt selflessness or the glorification the self? Do you recognize pure goodness, or do you look at the ego as the prime motivating factor of all positive achievement? Do you strive for success, fulfillment and realization, or do you vow that it's being done all for the children?

And, tell me, who do you look up to: The people who epitomize the former part of the above questions or the latter?

I'm sure I know the answer.

And I'm pretty sure you do, too!

Is there any question now why Judaism follows the religion of the selfless, all-giving and amazing mother?